彗星空下

sometimes

2012-01-29T05:04:00.000-08:00

有时候知道得越多其实就并不一定好
知到太多秘密，就有太多的秘密要保守，怕不小心把秘密说了出来
知道了一些不为人知的事情，完全颠覆了人家给我的印象
是我看人看得不够透彻？这时的心情其实是难过的。。。

人本来就有千千万万种
每个人都有过去哪怕是不堪回首的
每个人都有缺点
因为没有人是完美的

当左手投诉右手的不是
夹在中间的人真的左右为难
好混淆
只好逃之夭夭

handle with care

2012-01-01T05:31:00.000-08:00

was told that was a freaking accident happen nearby
working the very first day of new year
i leant the fact that 8 teenage boys perish in a freaking accident
accidents do happen
but it makes me worried about my relatives and friends
everyone is traveling during festive season for reunion
the parents are waiting
cant imagine how many broken hearts
cant imagine how much tears

then i met another women
she recognized me as her doc in the christmas event that i attended not long ago
she had a partner who suffered cancer on chemotherapy
loyal to each other
supporting each other
we were wishing merry christmas to each other the other day
couldnt expect she wont be having a happy new year this time around

the first day of 2012... life is so so so so fragile, handle with care

sea

2011-12-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

yuppie
went to the beach
feels so calm when so near to the mother natural
should come more often
throw away all the annoying and irritating things
afterall
sun does not hessistate to sink into the sea
neither hessitate to float up tomorow
life goes on

2011-11-22T05:44:00.000-08:00

今天上班
一如往常很匆忙的梳洗和吃早餐
重复的懊恼昨天应该早点睡
就出门上班去
今早的天朦胧一片
犹如在云中驾车
前程蒙蒙
看不到路的尽头
是个非常好的理由让人迷路
不过有了目标的人
即使前面雪茫茫
打开车灯还是会安全抵达终点
所以说做人一点要有个目标

最近很 sien
在我的有限的华文书写能力里
找不到其他字眼来形容我此刻心情

很SIEN 很SIEN

你不知道的事

2011-11-21T04:14:00.000-08:00

什么时候应该放手
什么时候应该紧握不放
如何拿捏这才是艺术
没有所谓正确的选择
只有最适合的选择
。。。。。。。。。。。。。
看着他们一个个进来
被大家嫌弃的定时炸弹
没有人愿意收留
连家人都对他们放弃希望
不知道我是否太傻太天真
我相信还有希望救回
为什么还没尝试就放弃呢
。。。。。。。。。。。。。
善终
减轻痛苦才是最人道
人其实是有限的
觉得天空好灰
。。。。。。。。。。。。

恶魔凶- emotion

2011-11-20T08:45:00.001-08:00

是普通人一个
不是仙女
所以会生气会伤心会难过
会忘记开心和快乐
这就是恶魔凶的时候

courage

2011-11-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

只空想却没实际行动是不会成功的
勇敢踏出第一步未必会成功
但至少尝试了
成功与否管不着了
过程中的点点滴滴
也会点缀平凡的日与夜
鼓起勇气
别让它成为每年的生日愿望而已
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

还是会继续向星星许愿
希望可以梦想成真

命运机会

2011-11-16T03:32:00.000-08:00

一个人的命运如何是否犹如所说的冥冥中自有安排
该来的就会来该走的挽留不住
还是要自己造机会化被动为主动拥有自主权

不喜欢选择
害怕选择
也许自己不了解自己
不知道自己其实想追求什么
什么对自己才最重要
把这重任推给命运的安排
唯有等待
这是懒人的宿命

从前以后

2011-11-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

珍惜当下拥有的
最老土不过的话了
也许最近空闲了
想了很多也想太多
想我的未来
也想回从前
到最后我发现我其实都还在原地踏步
胆怯的迎接未知数
**********************************
翻阅以前的照片
除了想念当年的青春
好想好想当年的朋友
你们都还好吗
**********************************
以后的我
以后的路该怎么走呢
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

2011-02-14T21:21:00.000-08:00

好久没歇一歇，写写感受感觉。。。。。

最近看了一部不错的电视剧- iris-korean drama。我还是我，喜欢看警匪间谍之类的剧。。。
结局的不完美增添了我对它的喜爱，也许不完美才是美，放下童话故事的包袱，不要过于执着，这世界是很美的。。。

宝贝们

2010-11-19T04:02:00.000-08:00

最近都和宝贝们在一起，一些宝贝一住就好几天，可以看到他们最初动不动就哭哭闹闹，不喝又不吃，到最后爬来爬去，伸手抓你的听筒，对你叽里咕噜说baby话的时候，这时的宝贝最可爱了，但也是说byebye的时候了。

很小很小的宝贝，被包成一粒，这些一粒一粒的宝贝不会爬，但你解开他们温暖的被单，就会伸懒腰，四肢手脚摇来摇去，在大几个月，还会把脚伸进嘴里，长大后肯定很贪吃。

大一点地会爬来爬去，最爱站在床边，沿着小床走来走去，看到你来，叽里咕噜，一大堆投诉，知道啦，你要回家啦。

一些宝贝，，替他抽血时，用尽喝乃之力，挣扎哭喊，抽完过后，两手拍拍，给个抱抱，他们就整个身只靠过来，不记仇，也不哭了，有义气，下次看到你，依然叽里咕噜寒暄一番，很有礼貌。

宝贝们都很聪敏，把他们带到他们最可恨的bilik rawatan 时，他们就知道将会发生什么事了。。。。。。

一些有chronic disease 的宝贝，每天进出医院，很熟练的把手伸出让你抽血，不哭闹，只是小小声地流眼泪，真得让人怜惜！

大一点的不哭了，会选医生帮他抽血，会选哪一个vein 比较好，还会分享其他医院的设施有多好，一直要和你说话，问东问西，当我写完他的报告，盖上印章，他就用一种很失望的眼神，让你觉得很内疚的神情说，你看完啦，要走啦? 我点点头，他就马上说，很闷啊，隔壁 baby 不会说话没人陪他说话，哎呀！不能心软，我还有工作做啊，不然会被老板骂。。。。

也有一些很凶的宝贝，让人头痛，一接近他，就放声大哭，生人勿近，这是就要耍耍法宝，逗他们开心，通常都只认法宝不认你，就和他们斗智，从背后偷听他们的肺，不过他们也不是省油的灯，感应到外来侵袭，唯有等他们睡着的时候，再来检查他们。

打在儿身，痛在娘心，就看见了很多伟大爸爸妈妈，每天日以继夜陪在孩子身边，这边不是游乐场，宝贝们不来为妙，在家可可爱爱，嘻嘻哈哈就好了。

kids

2010-11-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

just joining paediatrics barely 3 weeks... already got URTI, recovered and got another round...
the kids all looked so innocent, so cute but give u all kinds of virus
they screams
parents worried and cried
and
i am stressed too
oh dear children, please recovered quickly!!

2010-10-17T05:01:00.000-07:00

工作了四个月，完成了第一个posting，终于放假了，虽然一颗心，很不安分得想要出走，但我还没能很潇洒的说走就走，之前又懒惰早早计划，每天放工总有一堆借口七早八早就呼呼大睡，所以放假还是呆在家里休息，更新娱乐圈消息，更新朋友消息，想念一下大学好友。。。。。

内科部门，刚开始工作时，记不了药名，药的分量，一种药不止一个名，一个叫它A，一个叫它B，笨笨得我到最后才知道A=B, B=A, DOSAGE 又是一个问题，别人家字体潦草些，糊涂的我分不清楚是10mg ?1mg?100mg? 药技师摇个电话来，问个明白，很直截了当的问，新来的吗？没错，人家就是新人。。傻乎乎

有些病人不耻下问，会答的我就答，不会的，我只好尴尬的说，对不起，我是小小小小医生，热心的病人就会给一些劝告，要努力读书啊，要努力工作，还好没有小看我，给我打气鼓励，真窝心。。。

mid autumn festival

2010-09-21T06:17:00.000-07:00

wish the whole word peaceful on that night...
some say the moon will be the prettiest on that night..
scientist say the moon is always the same...
there's no tree no rabbit and no pretty woman on the moon...
i'm the kind of ppl who likes dreams, likes myth and mysteries...
and that's why i like this mid autumn festival who had such a beautiful story
actually is a sad love story ...
anyway... its the day that the little children play with pretty lanterns , candlelight...
yue yuan ren tuan yuan....
tomorow discharge all the patients in ward and zero admission...
haha ... then i can have a peaceful call and sweet dream...
only in my dreams~~~~haha

a cut above

2010-09-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

had a haircut one week ago
wanna have some change
have a new hairstyle, turn over a new leaf
but the response were horrible
my brother ask why i turned my myself into mushroom head
my colleagues either they rolled their eyes big BIG
or their mouth become 0
some gave a consoling smile
some worse one just laugh out loud
honest one ask why u cut like this, tak cantik la
well, i told them when i wake up in morning my hair kena gigit tikus... what to do...
haha

well actually i am enjoying the feeling when the hairdresser cut my hair
slip slip slip
cut away the troubled things

and for that particular colleague
why being so honest
i pay for this haircut le.....
ZHADAO!!!

echoes from the rainbow

2010-09-16T05:35:00.000-07:00

echoes from the rainbow
nice movies
lovely actors n actresses
touching story
read from article in newspaper, the screenplay is sort of the director real life story
that's why it touches people heart easily

i especially touched when i see the mother brought her son all the way to a big city to see dr for treatment
how the father trade his wedding ring to get money for the hospital bill
how the doctor break the bad news to the helpless mother

that is very sad and that is very real
too real
that's reality

they have hopes
but we made them sign the DIL form
they broke down in front of you
i could just murmured
please be strong

my shift over
buried my heads in my pillow
wishing upon the stars..........

2010-09-09T06:12:00.001-07:00

the most enjoying time in my day now is the sleeping time
before oncall, i do prophylactic sleep therapy... sleep gao gao b4 call
after oncall i sleep sleep n sleep ...
the day after oncall .. still need to pay the sleep dept
the followwing day have to sleep more in advance for the next day call
the so call prophylactic sleep thearapy
the next day oncall
then....

zzzz can not write anymore ... have to sleep d..

plan a plan b

2010-09-04T02:03:00.000-07:00

can not be too stubborn
have to learn the appropriate timing to let go
my laptop's chinese star application malfunction
tried to use the application several times
the program keep on not responding
i said to myself dont give up maybe it will work on second attempt
x1
x2
x3
sometimes the problem already there for sometime
it's not to be solve within one to two clicks
sometimes just cant be too positive
sometimes had to learn to turn
can not just keep go straight
especially when you know very well that it's dead end
it wont lead you anywhere
well
there's 500 hundreds way to travel to rome
there's must be other alternative

猜不透叮噹 MV

2010-08-28T00:18:00.000-07:00

Wang Lee Hom - Ni Bu Zhi Dao De Shi 你不知道的事

2010-08-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

梁詠琪+古巨基 - 許願(MTV)

2010-07-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

transition

2010-07-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

met two old friends during my school-time
the time when we were so young so innocent
sitting together now
reminiscing the sweet old time
times flies and leave traces on us
we know it very clearly
no matter what happen
we will still laughing out loud during the funniest piece of memory we share
be it the hundredth time we mentioned it
hmm
the topic of our conversation also had changed slightly
who and who got married
who and who blessed with a child
who and who working in this and that country
blah blah blah
hmm
wedding
starting to witnessed my frens one by one begin their next stage of life
metamorphosis
become butterfly
flying to the station named happily ever after

those days

2010-06-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

when in matrix.. i miss my school time so much
when in uni... i miss my matrix mates so much
when working now... i miss my uni mates so much
like an old auntie... those were the days...
i am like tat... only when it become a past tense... i only knew what i miss
meeting unknown ppl everyday...
but still cant fill up the spaces that i have reserved for those ppl..
if there birthday wishes can come true...
wish those n those ppl who come in n out of my life...
all the best in life...
for you n you....

5 years

2010-03-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

5 years ...
all of my friends are so clever
therefore i know they will fly to their next destination very soon
those are the familiar faces that i saw for the past five years
in lecture hall, pbl room, library, at the corridor of the hospital
cafeteria, inside the lift, auditorium...........
i am bad at names... doesn't know each person's name
i am bad in socialize..... i know just that gang of people
but i recognize the familiarity
the sense of belonging to the same faculty
the sense of being taught by the same teacher
the sense of going to the same hospital everyday
and now it's time we depart
and again i emphasize
my friends all are very clever
sincerely wish the best for them on THE DAY
as for me
life goes on
whatever it is
wherever it is

flight of ideas

2010-03-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

Like to follow this show very much
i had dream to become a participant as well
my cousin say, one day we shall become a participant
yeah, my cousin n i always like to dream
********************************************************************
when we were small, we always dream of becoming secret detective
that time we were so engrossed with story of FAMOUS FIVE, NANCY DREW,
LIMA PENYIASAT, TIGA PENYIASAT, TUJUH PEYIASAT....
actually i cant remember how many penyiasat there are
in fact i had had a mini collection of this penyiasats books but too bad
my mother gave all the books away
and only memories left... haha
and today, i cant become a penyiasat
the same with my cousin
***************************************************************
today i browse tru internet and found out that there's AMAZING RACE ASIA
and its deadline is by the end of this month
and i recalled the lilttle promises i made with my cousin
however,
one of the qualification is either participant must know how to operate manual and automatic transmission vehicle and must have an international driving license
haha
i cant even drive in KL,
haha
my cousin oso same same with me
***********************************************************************************

dream and reality
in dreams everything is possible
when we were small
teacher always like to ask
what u all wanna become when u get older
of course , it is what u WANNA become
and so we dream on
someone wanna become pilot.... flying high n wild in blue sky
someone wanna become archeologist.... to find the mystery of a death of firaun and whether his mistress had affair or not
someone wanna become anthropologist.....want to confirm Mr Darwin din bluff us all saying cimpanzee is our ancestors
someone wanna become reporter..... alaways jealous they can know the latest news first hand without addition of salt n pepper
someone so envy about the nice photo in National Geography magazine
secretly wish can go to befriend with the lion, tiger and elephant in the national park

people dreams
how many people actually become what they tell their teacher what they wanna become when grow up
each times i saw fresh innocent faces grad from their spm
deciding what they wanna become
reality hold them back
reality not allow them to fly
and these fresh youngster are just too realistic
they drop their dream, hide it
because one had to choose between dream and reality
this is the price of growing up

************************************************************************************

however, i still believe in my dreams
luckily i have dreams not just a dream
so more chances for a dream to come true
jus like investment, more investment, more chances that one of it will repay ( LOGIC??)
i have not YET become what i wanna become
with time i shall become ONE
i believe that i am lucky
and because of that i am happy

battle

2010-03-24T03:45:00.000-07:00

true enough.
waiting is a process that needs a lot of patience.
while waiting, the mind cant help to flash one hundred motion pictures
about what will happen to me
waiting for the TIME to come
it's a battle of EQ now
a battle on how to control my emotion
a battle to know myself better
a battle that i got to face

hey, dont give up

2010-03-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

hey, dont give up so easily
just two more days of exam
if do it properly
then can enjoy weeks of holiday
if not
then no more holiday
so dont regret later
grab the time now
study study
dont give up
it's almost there
it's not my limit yet
jia you jia you jia you
.....................................
.....................................

singing

2010-03-08T07:29:00.000-08:00

singing does help to reduce stress
lately being an avid listener to radio
especially in midnight
that time not many advertisement
just songs
and sing a long
do re mi do re mi
la la la la la la la

heavy rain

2010-03-01T02:21:00.001-08:00

finaly it's raining cats and dogs now
after days of hot weather
the raindrops hit my window so hard
di di da da da
like a melody
with background of thunder
decades ago
used to be very afraid of thunderstorm
because there's a huge tree in front of my house
always afraid the tree can't survive the thunderstorm and hit my house
decades later
my house and the tree still in situ
after every thunderstorm
there's rainbow
don't afraid
gambate!

smile

2010-02-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

smile like sun
encouraging myself to be positive
encouraging myself to be brave
fight the fear away
fight the uncertainties away
smile to the problem
scale the moutain
this is not the only one
certainly it will neither be the last
work hard girl
stay strong girl
learn the art of enjoying each and every moment of your life
be it sweet or sour
smile like sun
because thunderstorm will soon away
i knew it
because i believe

火柴天堂

2010-02-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

走在寒冷下雪的夜空
卖着火柴温饱我的梦
一步步冰冻一步步寂寞
人情寒冷冰冻我的手
一包火柴燃烧我的心
寒冷夜里挡不住前行
风刺我的脸雪割我的口
拖着脚步还能走多久
有谁来买我的火柴
有谁将一根根希望全部点燃
有谁来买我的孤单
有谁来实现我想家的呼唤
每次点燃火柴微微光芒
看到希望看到梦想
看见天上的妈妈说话
她说你要勇敢你要坚强
不要害怕不要慌张
让你从此不必再流浪
妈妈牵着你的手回家
睡在温暖花开的天堂

quite old the song to be but it still touches the listener's heart

stars....

2010-01-22T01:21:00.000-08:00

*******************************
far far away in a galaxy of no where
twinkle twinkling
here i am in complete darkness
i see you

******************************
stars

******************************

being very crazy over one korean drama lately
very funny .... hahaha....
instant mood elater after a much unhappy events that happen
instant worry chaser after much stressor pushing me
*******************************
afraid nothing and be brave
although in the darkness and cant see a thing
look ahead
let the stars guide the way
fear nothing and be confidence
look ahead
thourh so weak a star maybe
it still shines to fight the darkness
it still shines
as it knows
somewhere in complete darkness
there is someone who need the weakly twinkling star
to lead the way

****************************************

reality

2010-01-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

i was being very much amused by one of my friends who was so attached to the facebook game.
in facebook, we can plant crops and flowers, can rear pets, can run cafe and restaurants , rear fish and etc...
i am also one of the of the die hard fans running my restaurant in facebook.
everyday after school, the first thing to do is online to check up my restaurant and see who stole my vege today...
but for my very funny fren who actually had a tactic on running his restaurants and farms effectively without wasting time, in fact we dont really had much time to
be wasted.

i don understand how but the game had a very attractive factor to make me so attached to.
well i guess maybe the beautiful flowers and dishes served in the cafe attracted me most. well , who dont like flowers and nice food??

if i were to had a chance, i like to have a nice and comfortable cafe inside a garden of flowers under gentle sunlight and breeze with a rainbow over the sky....

never

2010-01-07T04:59:00.000-08:00

never say never
there's always a possibilities
if i try hard enough
if i persevere

ups and downs

2010-01-05T05:28:00.000-08:00

ups and downs
all i wanna say today
my life is like a roller coaster plus a box of chocholate
i e

u never know what u will get, one moments is up, the other moments is down

rainbow

2010-01-04T03:26:00.000-08:00

Rainbow
how many people had actually see rainbow in their life time?
maybe some are very lucky that they had seen it many times
some are too unlucky that they never see one, unable to see one,
i'm not sure about my luck
all i can do is to wait
for the rainbow

because i believe
somewhere over the rainbow

avatar

2010-01-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

yea, i watched this movie today. i had been anticipating to watch this movie for days after listening many good compliments from friends.
in conclusion, i was quite impressed by the movie. stepping out the cinema and back in my room right now, the scenes of the movie still flashing in my mind. i like the hometree and quite sad that it was unable to be saved and had to be ruined at last.
and the war had to be commenced.
peace is not without the price of sacrification.
peace and war...

hmm...

and alas there's a good ending. loved ones can be together. and love had no bounderies whether aliens or human, love cross it all. love is blind afterall..

first day of 2010

2010-01-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

i was oncall yesterday. i was counting down to year 2010 and admiring the fireworks which symbolize a brand new starting of the year with my white coats on and stethescope in my pocket. the moon can be my witness. it was a bright full moon night.

and then i start my year.

i met a family who start their year with a grieving loss that were just few weeks old.
and
i met another family who start their year with new member in the family.

post call - i had very good reason to sleep untill 1 pm and i miss the first sunrise in year 2010. waking up with an empty stomach, i start my day browsing through the internet. i killed plenty of my precious time by facebooking. oh gosh! i must stop facebooking......

happy new year

2009-12-31T12:07:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR

happy new year
happy new year

hope it will be a happy year!

prob...

2009-12-30T06:04:00.000-08:00

identify problem
then only can find a soulution
there's a will, there's a way

lethargy

2009-12-23T04:20:00.000-08:00

unreasonably lethargic... very serious...
people arounds me always ask me if i did not sleep at night
because i look tired
but i sleep a lot.... much more than the usual me...
what happen???
i hope i can back to usual self soon.....
and i start taking nap in the evening...
which i sledomly did...
yet i am still
unreasonably lethargy
today start to have cold...
ooooooo

ouch

2009-12-14T05:58:00.001-08:00

ouch.... mood swings....
and i am a bad manager of my mood....

2009-12-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

i have the least interest in economy, politics and things related to it.
i'm joining medic believing that i'm going to touch people's heart, working on humanitarian and believing that every single living things on earth have the right to live and it is a basic right for people to gain access to continue the survival.

*********

i hates economy.
but it's the criteria for people to get nutrition, to grow, to be educated, to survive....
some people were just too unfortunate..... blessed them...

lucky

2009-12-04T10:46:00.001-08:00

1 in 9 chance....
and i got the lucky draw....
to try something new...
life is..... cant change what is destined. that's fate....
but there's is always a chance to change the perception....
whatever will be will be....

holidays

2009-11-27T22:48:00.000-08:00

holidays ....
i decided not to go home this time....
sounds so not like me... my friends got suspicious and ask me .... are u sure? and yes i am certain.
in fact, i spend my holidays in my hostel with the cafe closed.
don worry i always had a way of how to get myself with food.
and, no regrets really of deciding not to go home where the hostel almost deserted
( the fact that i'm still in my hostel made my hostel "almost" deserted)
no regrest really ( truth or lies??)

and i spend my holidays with Hong Kong drama, movies ah-ha...
2 movies- music and lyrics , twilight.... hehe romantic movies.... really nice....
and one novel.... twilight....just start reading it after watching the movie....
it is so wonderful being able to read something apart from "my sleep-inducing and anxiety -provoking and post-reading guiltfullness textbook" ( p/s- in case u don understand... reading my textbook would made me sleepy and i got anxious of not able to finish read it and after reading it feel guilty of forgeting what i read....)

also, i regularly go to my farm to work up my plants... and occasionally* steal my fren's plant..

that's my holidays....

quality versus quantity

2009-11-17T06:41:00.000-08:00

when comes to food...
will u choose quantity or quality?
some may choose quality.... spend much of money and time to look for the best quality of food in town
or
some say quantity is much more important... tummy must be full is the ultimate aim
and the best is of course food which is cheap and delicious and can fill up the stomach.... ( if no need to pay lagi best... haha)

when comes to clothes and shoes and accessories like computers like perfume......
quantity.. the more clothes the more shoes the better .... afterall variety is the spices of life
or
quality.... the more branded the more nicer the more durable..... for those who has cash

when comes to LIFE
quantity... the longer u live the better?
or is the quality of life which matters most???

we can speak of quality of hundred thousand things.... quality of computer, quality of cheesecake, quality of car, quality of shoe... we can make some choices about the quality... we will definitely choose the better one if we afford to....

and can we choose a better quality of life?
yes, we may.......
but for some, they CANT.
while u still can choose, cherish it.

and for the fact that can not be alter any further..... .....
...............................................................................................
for the diagonosis that is doomed...............

when one door is closed, there will be another door that is opened.........

friday...

2009-11-13T02:59:00.000-08:00

it's friday.....
mixed feeling....
really long time din't go out with friends...
not like previous year...
always go out during weekend...
miss my sushi... ohhhh
and i need a new pair of shoe as well....
but didn't have time to go out to buy....
am i really that busy?

bejeweled

2009-11-03T23:28:00.000-08:00

i have frim belief that all work and no play make jack and rose a dumb boy and girl. therefor i am playing a lot of bejeweled blitz on facebook. :P

i was aiming for a higher score than my previous one and keep on playing...but everytime i failed to do so.

and just know i played without much expectations ( just want to kill boredom of writing case write up... yayaya.... i'm still not done with it after so many days....) and it turned out to be a highest score... after so many days playing it... :P

and

maybe life just like that... u like rainbow but u cant hold it.... u like stars but u cant grab it....but rainbow and stars will appear just out of sudden, without ur expectation ( whenever they like la...).....and this is called surprises.....

life is just full of surprises.... don't u agree? yes i am.

aiyaya - again

2009-11-02T21:37:00.000-08:00

5th year... my final year in uni... truly hope can pass my exam and then away away from here back to my hometown do something good and cause no harm ( this is most important... pray hard!!)

and and, my final started with ... hmm.... SSM ( special study module) , okay, apart from doing research,most of the time i was free!!! most relaxing time, that time, had a whole lots of plan like " how to loose weight in one month time"... hehe.. really enthusiastic that time... got sifu and fellow mate... training hard... day and night...

and and.... family medicine posting... relaxing throughout the posting.... emergency medicine... interesting.... 7 weeks just flied away.....

and then internal medicine... really a heavy posting because had to cover a lot of things..... end my posting with a lot of yet-to-be-cover subjects.... heaven only knows when i will finish all the subjects... always hope that all the knowledge can be turned in to sushi, maybe unagi...then i'll just gulfed them all ......

then, i already regret that i wasn't working very hard.... secretly made up my mind would not repeat the same mistake ... study porperly in surgery posting.... and....

the history just repeat itself.... the very last week in surgery posting..... a list of yet-to-be-covered topicsss add to the lists of yet-yet-to-be-covered-topics.... oopppsss

then then.... here i am ...bloging instead of working on my case write up.....

i cant catch up the time that flied away, grab whatever left for me and dont let the history repeat.....

dear me..... gambate!!!!

聚會

2009-10-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

life is strange
it had so many obstacles
and it gives us friends so that we are not lonely
but it was not without a price
we will be separated
we have to
as we lead our own path , a different one
and we were smart that we make gatherings
we gather but we somehow cant avoid to separate
as we drive through different highway altogether
different destination and destiny as well
but the roads somehow magically crossed somewhere sometime

and we rest at the junction for feast for tea
after the happy moments
we separate
n counting the days till we meet again

and my friends say if too long we separate
she might forget the old fren
and i selfishly instantly said
before u forgot me
i am going to forget u first
as i believe it will be less painful to forget than be forgotten
but i know
deep inside my heart
i cant afford to forget those sweet memories with you, you, you and you......and you....and you....and you.....

ps: i hopelessly feel tomoro will neva come, don want to sleep cox i don wan monday to come, at least not so early...............

demotivate

2009-10-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

i am in a state of zero motivation

........................................................

and this song came into my life out of a sudden

lene marlin's disguise

..........

i'm okay, i really am now
just needed some time
to figure things out
not telling lies
i'll be honest with u
still we don't know what's yet to come

..........

or it's just a disguise
that's not okay

..........

listening this song over n over again
telling myself i'm okay
cannot lazying around anymore........

still we dont know what's yet to come

2009-10-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

still we dont know what's yet to come

some people expect for the best
and to be disappointed at the end of the day

some people prepare for the worst
and to be pessimism throughout the day

some people just relax
hope for the best and prepare for the worst at the same time
whatever it is
just do it

i wish to be a farmer

2009-09-12T03:42:00.001-07:00

thanks to facebook, i enjoy planting flowers, vegetable, fruits....i enjoy HAPPY FARM much more than FARMVILLE as the graphic is more pretty.....
and today thanks to my friends, i went to BOTANICAL GARDEN in Shah Alam, seeing the real plants this time. that's really amazing to see the real durians hanging on the durian trees. It's the first time i saw those durians which were so cute and lively and not those what i usually seen lying dead on some fruitstall somewhere waiting to be slaughtered to be disposed into someone's alimentary system.

it's really enjoyable to see the flowers seated on the mother earth, the trees rooted there aiming to get taller and taller, the fruits hanging on the tree, the butterflies just flies, the bees continue to be busy, the sun still shine, the rain falls whenever it wish to, and me
enjoying the speed sliding down the slopes, regretting why i did not trained my quadriceps further to scale up the mountain and the nature simply beautiful.....

and we need to protect them.

2009-09-11T05:18:00.000-07:00

today is the last day of my medical posting.
3 days later there will be another new posting to go.
this time, before the end of my medical posting and the start of my surgical posting,
there's already a task for me in advance.
wow, that's really no more honeymoon for the final year student.
no more end posting holiday which i dearly miss.
i know that another 7 days to go and i will have one week raya holiday,
which i would treasure greatly
as after that, my next holiday will be during Chinese New year
and only God knows what will happen one month after that.... *sweat*
i really cant wait to go home......

**************************************************************

recently i'm craving for glucose a lot
yes, sweet, any food that is sweet,
like, ice-cream, cakes, cookies, and mooncake
i think one of the reason i dire to go home is that
these food actually are a lot easily accessible at home
haha...

aiyayayaya

2009-09-05T08:18:00.001-07:00

aiyayayaya
aiyayayaya
aiyayayaya
aiyayayaya
aiyayayaya

this is my feeling at this very moment, this very day, this very month and year

aiyayayaya

bygone

2009-08-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

aiyaya.... lost all the memory d.... good point is lots of space for the new one... let the bygone be bygone....if not, what to do?

out of sudden

2009-08-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

finally can have a moment sitting in front of my frail laptop...
it's a long day and me currently tired but not sleepy yet....

begin to ponder upon my identity....
i shall put it like that... my life can be as simple as ABC
i likes...
apples
books
chocolate
dream
egg-tarts
fountain
green
hippopotamus
imagination
jingle bell
kreme
light n easy
magic
nut
original
pumpkin
quiet
random
sunflower
tune
unique little things
vacation
whale
x-files
yam
zoo

yes, it can be as simple as ABC....

no - good mood

2009-08-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

Going to Hospital Teluk Intan tomorow for one-week-medical posting there.
it is near my hometown, about one hour car journey from Teluk Intan to Sitiawan, i guess. whenever i go back home from KL, i will pass by this hospital.
although being posted so near to my home, but i do not think i will have opportunity to sneak home.arrgh!

********
at first was planning to attend my friend's convocation next weekend. i'm anticipating to meet her up, really long time do not see her and i promise i would be presence for her once-in-a-lifetime important event, to share the happy moments together....
BUT
next weekend will have some academic stuff going on that attendance would be compulsory. until this moment, i still hope that attendance would not be compulsory and that i will be able to attend the convo.... arrgh...

*********

my dear laptop already have some chronic problems going on. Naively as you can say, i always hope that the laptop-vral-infection-problem would be self resolving, like viral infection in human, self resolving, nothing much can do. however, like the H1N1 recently, the virus-infection-or- dont-know-what-harddisk-damage, whatever it is, getting worsen than ever... sigh....

********

i'm homesick now..... i wanna go home and do nothing there.....

********

ripple

2009-08-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

it won't last long.
i knew it.

apple or orange

2009-08-04T04:23:00.000-07:00

if i were given apple and orange and were asked to choose one between them
i will definitely choose apple over orange
if u see me choose orange instead of apple
that must be not me, be alert, that's not ME

however, life is not as simple as to choose orange or apple
i have lousy decision-making skills...
in the end, i just realised i'm running a big circle and back to the very same spot that i started instead of going further
...................................................................................................................................................................

<>

sweeet potato

2009-08-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

it's never love at first sight.
i use to hate sweet potato because i think it's simply too sweet.
but lately, i really love sweeet potatoes...
maybe because it makes me think of my home, like my friend who likes to eat sweet corns 'cause it makes her think of her mum
haha
i especially like the japanese sweet potato- my friend's parents like them very much:P

http://www.foodreference.com/html/sweet-pot-nutrition.html

Sweet Potato Nutrition Facts
(for one medium size sweet potato)
Calories 130
Fat 0.39 g
Protein 2.15 g
Net Carbs 31.56 g
Dietary Fiber 3.9 g
Calcium 28.6 mg
Sodium 16.9 mg
Potassium 265.2 mg
Folate 18.2 mcg
Vitamin C 29.51 mg
Vitamin A 26081.9 IU
Source: US Department of Agriculture

The numbers for the nutritional sweet potato speak for themselves: almost twice the recommended daily allowance of vitamin A, 42 percent of the recommendation for vitamin C, four times the RDA for beta carotene, and, when eaten with the skin, sweet potatoes have more fiber than oatmeal. All these benefits with only about 130 to 160 calories!

Among root vegetables, sweet potatoes offer the lowest glycemic index rating. That’s because the sweet potato digests slowly, causing a gradual rise in blood sugar so you feel satisfied longer. It’s time to move sweet potatoes to the "good" carb list. Many of the most popular diets these days have already.

Handicraft

2009-07-31T03:41:00.000-07:00

i like handicraft.
i like to do handicraft
though no talent at at all
but i still think my handicraft is very nice
afterall, it's my own work, i design it, and i do it.
i especially delighted when transforming something that would end up in a dustbin
into some other thing. in simpler words- recycle
see this,

dang...dang....dang.... dang....dang

into a box.... hehe....which i would use it as a gift box

my end product...

friday mood

2009-07-31T01:46:00.000-07:00

Me in weekdays- i wish it's weekend
Me in weekends - i wish the clock forget it's role a while

Me in weekdays - let's do this and this and this and this in weekend
Me in weekends - oh, so long my to-do-list is, and it's WEEKEND, i deserve some rest...

Me in weekdays - finding a thousand reason to go home
Me in weekends - i wish i were home

大头虾

2009-07-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

真的受不了！

从来都不喜欢吃虾，这是与我要好的朋友都知道的事实。
对虾蟹海鲜有敏感，吃过了之后喉咙不舒服，严重还会嘴巴红肿的像香肠（当然我不会允许它再发生在我身上）
最近我发现有同类相斥的现象
因为我实在太大头虾了
居然在短短四天都不到的时间
忘了带锁匙两次
找felo拿masterkey一次五块
当然这不是新鲜事
从以前到现在我都数不清有几次
只是最近太频密了
自己都受不了自己
haizzzzz

不过，我还是坚持不配spare key
我坚信这次是最后一次(虽然我每次都这样告诉自己）

真的不要再忘记了
好累了

96 年

2009-07-22T00:55:00.000-07:00

在不恰当的时间做不恰当的事是我的专利，呵呵。
就是在大家都应该认真做工（如果你是上班族）或读书（如果你还是学生）我却上网看facebook-- 这个神奇的时间消耗者，我竟然发现了一张1996 年的班级照，我老了哦，很多当年的同学我都不积德他们的名字，与很多同学都失联了，都不知道当年的他们如今还好吗? 在哪一个城市生活呢？真抱歉，我从来都不是一个好朋友，从来不主动联络朋友，甚至忘了他们，可是我却希望他们记得我，哈哈，所以这次就靠facebook 主动add 了他们，希望他们不要忘记我啦，哈哈。。。
nostalgia... 一看到照片，许许多多沉睡的记忆都慢慢浮现了，好想念钟维萍老师，当年我的座位是第一排，就在老师的最前面（你知道我那时有多高），所以很容易和老师们build rapport, 钟老师很好的，替我们拍班级照，（其他班没有的），虽然她有一点小凶（她罚过我拉耳朵，因为在不该说话的时候与隔壁座同学说话，其实是隔壁座同学惹我的，我与他争辩忘了什么事，天啊，我现在才发现原来我还真记仇的，所以不要随便惹我哦！哈哈），不过，我真得很想念她，不知道她现在在哪一个城市，那一间学校教书？

还有另外一位老师，我还记得很搞笑的，我的位子真的是在老师的正中间，所以可以和不同的老师沟通交流，有一位老师问我的妈妈做什么工，我说妈妈在家看顾孩子，老师竟然叫我问我的妈妈要不要帮她看顾孩子。。。有时候老师叫我帮忙数钱，那时我们有学校储蓄计划，同学们通常都会储蓄十仙，二十仙的。。那时候的我其实是很开心很乐意地帮老师做事情。。。哈哈

四年级，难忘的一年，在那一年，我的婆婆离开了。。。。。还记得是妈妈到学校和老师说了一些话就把我接回家了。。。还记得当时的那一位老师，当时的心情，一开始是很开心，可以提早回家，然后很奇怪的背带到槟城去，那时候还不知道发生了什么事，直到直到爸爸红了眼睛，叫我和弟弟跪下的时候，似懂非懂的与婆婆道别。。。那时候的照顾我和弟弟的大人们都觉得我还小，好像什么都不懂，其实我懂得，我知道我懂得，我知道发生了什么事，在那山上，我知道，我都知道，我没告诉大人们我都知道，我没告诉她们我会想念，我会不舍，我会心疼，我会心痛，我会难过，我会不安，我会伤心，。。。。我不说不代表我不懂，只是大人们都看不到其实小孩也是很懂事的。。。当时的一切，我都记得。。天呀，原来我的记忆可以如此的好。。。我问过弟弟，他也记得，他记得那个地方，他也知道发生什么事，他记得的甚至比我记得的还要好。

原来一张照片，除了可以知道你上不上镜，它还可以带你回温当时的心情，当时的故事，当时的感觉，当时的一切，甚至一些照片以外的故事，所以，

今天的结论---有空时多拍照！哈哈。。。妈妈，快点买相机给我（如果她会上网看我的blog) :>

摇摇

2009-07-22T00:10:00.000-07:00

搖籃搖籃搖進海與風聲　人魚鯨魚游近窗邊傾聽
誰人乘童謠　尋覓甜甜夢境

搖籃揚帆搖到海角天邊　人魚鯨魚陪你將快入眠
船兒徐徐和那海潮汐和應　睡吧　別驚醒

小腳趾　你會愛上探險整個歷程
坐不定　你很想一天攀到高山看星
小眼睛　你會看遍世間可愛事情
讓耳朵　似海螺天天裝滿開心笑聲

搖籃搖籃搖進海與風聲　瑤華沿途和你舖滿星星
誰人誰人來唱歌　你最想聽

很舒服的一首歌。。。。。。。

小草

2009-07-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

大風起把頭搖一搖
風停了又挺直腰
大雨來彎著背讓雨澆
雨停了抬起頭站直腳
不怕風不怕雨
立志要長大
小草實在是並不小

突然想起这首儿歌
上网找来了歌词
却忘了如何唱

day.......s........

2009-07-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

时间过得好快好快
一睁眼，天刚破晓
走进白色城堡
时间匆匆溜走
离开城堡
天空却高唱孙燕姿名曲- 天黑黑
一天又过去了
眼皮也越来越重
只好利用咖啡因灌醉自己

一天一天过去
不带走一片云彩

2009-07-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

life is 10% what had happen to you and 90% of how you react to it.

前几天发现了一个新玩意，上网找了很多励志名言要送给毕业的朋友当贺礼，哈哈！结果就发现了这句话，觉得很有意思，你的生命，10 % 是老天爷帮你安排的，90% 是自己如何面对它，要是老天爷给你不及格，零分，你还有90% 的分，不但及格，还很优秀呢，所以呢，。。。。善待自己，让自己的心情每天都五颜六色的飞常及格（pass with flying colours) 哈哈

生气

2009-07-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

生气是一种情绪，一种很极端的情绪，会增快你的心跳，心脏不好的人还会因为生气而引发心脏病，所以可想而知生气有多可怕。。。
真得很可怕的，尤其是在生气的人的身边的人，更恐怖的是自己惹人生气，最恐怖的是不确定是否自己是不是惹怒了人家，终极恐怖的是觉得自己没错 ( no insight )。。。
希望生气的人快点不要生气。。。。
希望真的不是我惹人生气
在希望我以后聪明多一些，不要随便惹人生气,
让我聪明多一些，让我清清楚楚地知道我到底怎样惹怒人家。。。。

my sister's keeper-Jodi Picault

2009-07-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

刚刚读完了这本小说，很好看，故事结局令我很意外，有点小难过。。。

股市主人翁的姐姐患了急性血癌，找不到适合的骨髓捐赠者，在科技发达的美国，他们利用胚胎技术选者了一个基因与她姐姐相似的安娜，他一出世，就捐赠了脐带血，之后的十三年，陆陆续续捐了很多干细胞，血液，拯救垂危的姐姐，这次安娜被要求捐肾脏，安娜不愿意，决定提出像她父母提出诉讼。。。

生命很神奇很奇怪，有些人很艰苦但还很努力的生活，有些人很写意，有些人有很多抱怨，有些人都还来不及好好生活，有些人活了大半辈子都不知道为什么而活，有些人总那么幸运，有些人总那么不幸。。。。。
有些人想放弃了，但老天还没放弃，有下人不想放弃，老天却开了个玩笑。。。。

当你以为有下一秒的时间来补偿上一秒的过失，其实那一秒以成历史，只能永在怀念。。。。

？？？

2009-07-03T03:03:00.000-07:00

做不到自己想做的事情痛苦些呢？
还是
做自己不想做的事情比较痛苦？
？？？？？？？？？？？？？

2009-06-29T06:18:00.000-07:00

时间已做了选择
什么人叫做朋友
偶尔碰头
心情却能一点就通
因为我们曾有过
理想类似的生活
太多感受绝非三言两语能形容
可能有时我们顾虑太多
太多决定需要我们去选择
担心会犯错
难免会受挫
辛好一路上有你们陪我

与你们分享的快乐胜过独自拥有
至今我仍深深感动
好友如同一扇窗
能让视野不同
与你们分享的快乐胜过独自拥有
至今我仍深深感动
好友如同一扇门
能让世界开阔

特别献上这一首我觉得很感动得歌给我的好朋友们
谢谢大家的祝福
谢谢大家一路相陪

我想起了我最亲爱的家人
我也想起了我最可爱的朋友们

突然很喜欢这首歌
与大家一起分享

23

2009-06-28T01:22:00.000-07:00

再过几个小时，我就准准23 岁了，我爸爸和妈妈也养我养了23 年了，辛苦了。。。
我是爸爸妈妈的第一个baby, 自从进了妇产科和幼儿科学习后，我对自己的孩童故事非常有兴趣。时不时，我都会问妈妈怀我的时候又没有什么问题，还记得生我的时候有什么难忘经历吗？
我一出世就把妈妈吓坏了，因为老天爷送我一个礼物，右手上的胎记，那时我妈妈吓得哭了一场，还有一个迷信的护士竟然告诉我妈说一定是在怀孕的时候缝补了太多衣服，所以我的手才会有胎记，我妈结婚前的职业是结婚礼服裁缝师，她难过得要命，回家后竟然把所有缝过的衣服都拆开来。。。我听后哈哈笑了两下，我说其实那是老天爷给的记号，你永远不会抱错女儿，我弟弟其实有点妒嫉我的胎记，因为我告诉他我不可能被抱错，他就有可能啦! ha ha..
我妈说由于是第一胎，她第一次抱我就把我的头被敲到了，我说，原来如此，难怪我觉得自己有点笨，本来应该会很聪明的，我妈也说就是咯，不然应该会很聪明。。。 argh, 她每次都觉得我会被人骗，报纸上有什么被骗的新闻，她都会打电话来告诉我。。。
小时候的我常常跌倒受伤，最经典的一次是从桌子摔下，我妈妈说那是因为我想学superman，从桌子飞下来，奈何我是地球人，没有这个能力，我的右手受伤了，妈妈还说，那时候带我看医生，医生却没有做些什么事，只是替我包扎了一下就回家了，可是我还一直哭闹，妈妈说我的手有点弯了，肿起一个大包，最后听人家说巴刹有个猪肉贩很厉害治骨折，她带我去巴刹，那位恩公“咔喳”一声，我“哇”了一声，我的手就神奇的好了，比医生还厉害，妈妈说那位卖猪肉的小贩是我的贵人，没有他的话，我的手可能就弯弯的了。。。很神奇的一个经历，不过我都不记得，我喜欢superman却是一个事实，哈哈！
我问妈妈还记得我第一次会说话是几大，第一次走路几大，妈妈竟然说不记得了，我不是第一个孩子吗？怎么不记得？妈妈说，喂，二十多年了。哈哈，也对啦。她说小时候的是小电视迷，我看电视，她就去忙她的家务事，我问我看什么戏呢？你猜不到的。妈妈说我很爱看广告，她录了整个录影带的广告给我看，除了广告，我还爱看david copperfield 的魔术表演，我每天都在看这些，我问妈妈，为什么我不是看abc 或者一些童谣的录影带（我记得我的表妹们都在看aiyoyo 老师学abc, 看童谣学london bridge is falling down) ,我妈竟然说我看广告和魔术时最安静，这样她就可以安心做家务，我取笑她说，别人家父母让孩子学abc, 你的孩子学广告设计和魔术，哈哈！
小时候做坏事，都是妈妈拿藤鞭处罚的，爸爸从来都不打人的。印象中爸爸只打过我一次，虽然错的人是我（小孩永远都错大人永远都对），可是我觉得爸爸不可以打人的，我就生爸爸的气，之后爸爸跑去买玩具给我，我才原谅他。。。和爸爸相处时间都不长，因为他每天都日出而作，日落而息。。。。。
还有另一个经典的事，我想也间接影响了我今天的抉择，小时候的我有气喘病，印象中很难过的是因为生病不能去幼稚园拍毕业照，每个小孩子都有，我没有，我的遗憾啊。。也许因为外公也有同样的病，妈妈非常紧张，她对这病很有研究，我记得我晚上咳嗽时，她会用她的耳朵贴进我的背听我的呼吸声，我不知道这有没有根据，不过她用母亲的直觉，也不会错，我印象最深的是有一次晚上我生病了，爸爸妈妈连夜带我到一声的家，那时我人小小，觉得那医生的家庭院深深，有点恐怖，不过医生很好，没有拒绝我们一家人。。。还记得有一次我在家又生病了，这回妈妈叫医生来我家看我，我记得那时我大概六七岁，生病了不想冲凉，结果穿了一整天的睡衣没换，穿睡衣在沙发看医生。。。

23 年了，真的辛苦您们了，我的父亲，我的母亲。。。

昨天

2009-06-28T00:38:00.000-07:00

昨天一整天都很relax, 不，应该说从昨天到今天都很relax, 其实是有功课要赶，有书要读。。。。不过，连续剧都常常说，“长命功夫长命做“，这个周末我选择了很relax 的过。。。
周六的整个早上，我献给了泳池，随便游一下就晒得一身不均匀的肤色，本来就黑黑的，人家都说我像印度人原住民马来人印尼人菲律宾人等等（就是除了华人），朋友们都买了防晒护肤品当作生日礼物送我，要让我弃暗投明！（顺便谢谢各位好友送我的礼物:>)
下午呢，就看了室友借我的小说，jodi picault 的my sister's keeper... 很有意思的书，说家庭故事，书中的大女儿不辛有了血癌，一个家庭成员生病了，整个家庭也生病了，这本书让我想了很多东西，很感动，举凡关于亲情的，我感动的threshold 都降低了。。。。
4点30分。。我去看transformers! 很期待这部电影，每个人都说很好看，看完之后没有失望啦，真得很不错！我记得我小时候也看了很多transformers 的卡通，我弟更是沉迷于他，
晚上，我又继续看我的小说，然后就呼呼入睡。。。。
今天，决定发奋图强了，可是progress奇慢，所以就跑来这里无聊的写了一些东西。。。。
加油加油。。。。

nightmares

2009-06-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

definition of nightmare
-repeated awakenings from sleep with detailed recall of extremely frightening dreams
- uusually involeve threats to survival, security
- on awakening, the person becomes oriented and alert

recently i had few nightmares that truely scared me out of my sleep... it's bout death, kidnapping, being chased by murderer.....
the first thing i did when awoke was to TOUCHWOOD.....

let's have some sweet dreams plzzzzz.........

18/6

2009-06-18T05:13:00.000-07:00

昨晚，睡不好，被奇怪的肚子痛纠缠着，
今天一整天的心情，说不上不好，可是就是怪怪的，
都是那奇怪的肚子痛惹的祸。。

很突然地把我的一堆朋友吓着了
因为我从来不主动约他们出来吃饭
还好大家都很给面子，一约即出
大家吵吵闹闹的把饭吃完
吃得很开心

和朋友一起吃饭，分享是非，听听故事，大大声没有仪态的哈哈大笑
那是一个美好的时光。。。。。。。。

旅人

2009-06-09T04:11:00.000-07:00

很羡慕到处旅行的人
游山玩水
四处走走
到陌生的国度
听生疏的语言
看看不同的文化
旅人
给我的感觉就是很自由很随性的
走走停停看看玩玩
自由，自由，多一点自由

travelling

2009-06-09T02:33:00.000-07:00

大学的第五年真的开始了
同学们开始忙了
最特别的是，大家在这一年都要travelling
我每星期都去不同的klinik kesihatan
有些同学就去不同的医院
跑来跑去。。。。。。。。。

祝大家求学愉快

DETERMINATION

2009-05-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

坚定的意志力？
成功的人意志力应该都很坚定吧
人家说，要成功，就一定要有目标
所定目标，努力的向前迈进

坚持一个信念
是一件不容易的事
有时候，会觉得自己坚持的
对吗？
值得吗？
应该吗？
有时候，会很想放弃，
很想像鸵鸟一样
把头埋起来

坚定再坚定
谈何容易呢？

衣服

2009-05-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

你买衣服时，大概都会看看喜欢的颜色，合眼缘的设计，穿起来舒服又自在。。。。讲究些的，还要看牌子，潮流，场合，。。。。。。。。。。。。
这个地球很多人每天都在设计衣服，很多人每天都在制造衣服，很多人也每天都在买新衣服。。。

我遇见了他，总是穿着相同的衣服，那衣服比他瘦小的个子大了足足有一个尺码，那衣服比他的年龄还要成熟，那衣服没有随着时代还是所谓的潮流前进，简单来说，他穿的并不是他的衣服。。。。。

衣食住行，衣服的自由与能力，他都没有。。。。。。。。

但是，我依然看见他蹦蹦跳跳，吵吵闹闹的在公园里顽皮得跑着跳着，他还有这一颗快乐的心，他眼睛闪烁着快乐。。。。

希望

2009-05-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

窗外的天空正在下雨，
房里的我正在祈祷，
say yes say yes say yes
但愿我的proposal 能通过，
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

oooooo

2009-05-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

oh o, 我有很多未完成的任务，
但是，我想逃进梦乡，藏起来
明天再来解决了
我了解明日复明日
万事成蹉跎
但是
现在状态不佳的我
勉强也没幸福
好的，我允许自己当个受伤的战士逃亡到梦乡
养精蓄锐
明天再来把所有东西都一一解决

aye aye, sir

2009-05-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

今天，去看了star trek.原本并没有很大的意愿想看这戏，看完之后，有意想不到的精彩，还勾起了不少儿时回忆，小时候的我最爱看电视节目了，还记得小时候看了很多英文连续剧关于太空的，类似star trek 但是却记不得任务的名字是否一样，我上网查了一查，原来star trek 是1960 年代的产物，我记得小时候看的人类住在太空，每次就打坏人，帮好人，紧张又刺激。。。。。。。

space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.

很熟悉的一句话，在那黑黑得宇宙，充满了许多未知数，曾几何时，我像许多人一样，望着这黑夜，想像者外太空的世界，。。。又做梦了。。。。

aye aye, sir 这是我印象最深刻的一句话.

今天只做一件事

2009-05-17T01:22:00.000-07:00

今天做一件事 - 陈奕迅

发觉这世界永远太少空间
因此花一天支配一切时间
发觉这世界永远太晒心机
因此花一天思索一切道理

消失太快捉得到太少
因此花一天感觉一切是爱
茫茫人海或有几多漂泊与淹盖
人人寻找爱或有几多争斗与比赛
越觉得剩低几多未变的爱

慢慢地合作新诗静静地同床午睡
再发现岁月换来几次厌闷几多亲爱
有各样劫灾和充满意外
因此我要努力继续能恋爱

慢慢地迈向听朝静静地怀念昨日
再决定今天只要相信爱
叫皱纹散开唤青春归来
因此我喜欢花一天感觉一切是爱

突然很喜欢这首歌，旋律轻松自在，歌词也很有意思，发觉这世界永远太少空间
因此花一天支配一切时间，总有太多的事情，如果一天只做一件事，只专注的做一件事，多好！

在一个悠闲的星期天，不要太贪心，替自己安排太多事，花一天的时间，做一件事情，这事不需要什么可以影响世界，拯救地球，保护人类的伟大事情，小小的一件自己喜欢的事，可以令自己开心的事，我觉得那是很了不起的事。

我不喜欢复杂的事情，只喜欢专心的做一件事。。。。。。。。

峰回路转

2009-05-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

我的ssm可以说是峰回路转，这五个礼拜以来，每天都忙忙忙，烦烦烦，每次以为事情终于解决了，可以告一段落，又有新问题发生，问题发生了又幸运的得到协助，之后松了一口气，又迎接新问题，再解决，再来问题，再解决，我亲爱的supervisor 出国了，直到presentation 过后才回来，希望接下来的问题都不要太严重，希望一切迎刃而解，顺顺利利踏入final year...........

是转机不是挫折，只要相信，就会有奇迹，我相信的！

passwords!!! without that word no pass

2009-05-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

i have so many passwords but i can not remember which one is which account. MSN, facebook, email, friendster, ukmjaring,blog,library, ATM.......... THE LIST IS STILL GO ON..........

on a very fine day you may not be seeing me update my blog, replies ur email, chat with u via msn, die of starving becoz unable access my atm........ it might be due to the fact that i FORGOT my passwords............

if what above stated did not happen, i might become a professional " passwords guesser" , maybe just a step away from being a "hacker" as i continuously GUESS MY USERNAME N PASSWORDS BECAUSE I KEEP FORGETTING THEM!

oh gosh! what happen to my cerebral function, plz don't atrophy yet, i still have many dreams not yet pursue.......

i really fed up with all the passwords..............................................

triangel

2009-05-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

It symbolizes as the Guardian Angel of Love.

Story of this doll...

The Triangel originated from a famous Italian allusion. In the times of ancient Rome, there was a kindhearted lady falling in love with a young man who was witched to be indifferent to the lady. The lady was so depressed and sit in front of the window crying day and night. Finally, her love had touched the Gods. They sent the Triangel to the lady which could make the witch appear in front of the young man. The young man realized that his true love was the lady and they had fallen in love again!

忘。记

2009-05-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

书橱上最右边的角落有一个堆积了一层灰的蓝色文件夹，我已经很久没翻过它了，它是用来放一些不常用的东西。因为最近缺乏文件夹，便打开看看我房了什么东西在内。。。。
当然，方的都是文件，我发现了我五年前些了一些给朋友的留言却没有交给他们，那时我在matrikulasi, 快毕业了，朋友们都兴企协纪念纸，就是把一些留言写在对方提供的纸张上，我都有写，只不过没交给他们，自从matrikulasi 之后，也都没有再见到他们了，那些美丽的纸张从新唤醒了我沉睡已久的记忆。
除了这些，我还发现了我读大一和大二写的日记纸，我发现很多东西我都忘记了曾经发生过。（记忆衰退？？？）

以前的我喜欢在不开心的时候写日记，把所有苦水都写下来，所以都是苦水日记，我也不想多读。反正都忘了何苦又要记回来，我就把他们都丢掉，像征似地把以往的枯水都倒掉，看也不看一眼，说丢就丢，豪迈非凡。

我才发现原来我可以很健忘，我不想忘记开心的时候，应该现在开始记下开心的事，记下值得回味的情景，记下我不该忘记的事情。。。。。

搭车

2009-05-03T00:28:00.000-07:00

今天，背起很重的背包搭巴士从家乡来到我念书的城市里。为何我的背包总是那么重？不能轻便些吗？
我想，不能再轻了，虽然在这个城里念书年了快五年，对于我，这个城市还是我念书的城市，我的家是距离它四个小时的车程以外的地方，离开家里，从来都不轻便。。。

一到达plaza rakyat LRT station, 就看见人潮在排队买票，这时候如果有一张touch n go就不用排队了:P 排队时，我还一直向人潮中望望，希望找到一个熟悉的脸孔帮我买票，但然，这种想插队兼懒惰排队的精神，老天爷不会让我如愿的。我只好乖乖的排队，心想这次去搭轻快铁一定会被挤得像沙丁鱼那样，想着想着，手心也冒冷汗了，那种沙丁鱼的经历并不是什么愉快的经历，被挤得连个手握的地方都没有，大家推来推去，差点儿就跌倒。。。

不过，今天却出乎我的预料，轻快铁不但不挤人，我还有位子做呢！真奇怪！平时搭轻快铁很少有机会是坐着的，今天就很舒服的"坐" 轻快铁回宿舍，坐得太舒服了，就开始思考人生大道理（其实是胡思乱想），想着想着差一点就下错站了。。。。

落错车的经验，我有很多个，错失了一个站，我就由另外一个站再回去！还记得第一次下错站，我紧张得打电话向表妹求助，之后之后就变达人了。有一次看到一位老婆婆错失了一个站，本来想与她分享我的经验，不过她很凶，不停的怪罪一位年轻人害她落错车，我就不敢多说话了。。。

我在想，很多东西都不能预测的，我以为轻快铁会很挤人，我从没想过我会下错车站，可是事情的发展就与我想象的是两回事，不过也没什么大不了，落错车，只不过再兜另外一个圈就可以回到目的地，既来之则安之，好好的欣赏生命中的风景。。。。

origins

2009-04-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

this is a true story of a 23 years old CHINESE lady who is currently still studying somewhere in Kuala Lumpur. She is about to reveal her DARKEST secret deep inside her heart for some period of time. Revealing her story to public ( i wonder how many people actually bother to waste some of their time in this BLOG)actually is no easy task. this is a TRUE story and actually is causing some psychological TRAUMA to her. ( well, her heart is FRAGILE, taken with care)..... and this is not a joke, it's SERIOUS!
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
My name is *ahem, i guess it's already shown at the bottom of the blog* Okay, straight to the point after a long intro *sorry, if it bores u, but bear with it, if you would like to hear my story*

my story begin when i first enter matriculation program someplace in KEDAH. The place and the people there were completely alien for me and vice versa. on the first few days, it happened. i could still vividly remember it happened at the stairways to my hostel. i met a few Malay girls, and they talked to me.......
"hello"
" hello" i replied,
" hmm, adakah awak terlupa bawa tudung? kat sini, kita semua perlu pakai, kalau kamu tak ade, kami boleh pinjamkan"
OMG, that really shocked me. That was actually the first incident that people mistaken me as Malay.
Later on, i join my favourite cousin to christmas party with her friends. Ok, her friends know very well that i'm her cousin, and they ask
'are u mix parentage? at first sight, i taught u r malay, haha, but can't be la as u r jing's cousin"
" hehe" my standard reply,
"actually both are my parents are chinese" I MUST CLARIFY THAT
and oo's and ah's will be heard.
...........................................................................

and the same situation do repeat itself.
when i meet new patient, strangers asking for direction, sales girls,taxi drivers and etc.
at times, i felt lazy to clarify with them and i just pretend i don't realise they are chinese and converse with them in our national language, though the next minutes they are shouting with their friends in mandarin. ( not really shout la, i exaggerated:P)

in fact, i'm not really upset or irritated. at times it helped as ice breaking session when meeting someone new. most of them will be very excited when i told them they are the no-578 person who said i did not look like a chinese. and most of the time they will ask did i have and relative who are not chnese.

one doctor from orthopaedic department who had actually asked me two times, he asked
" are u sure u r not chin-dian"
" u look like one"
he must have forgotten he had just ask the same question a couple months ago!

A relative of my patient had said, " wow, u r truly a malaysian"

there are times also when i told them that i'm a chinese, they will be embarrased and apologized to me. in fact, i don't really mind as i had USED to it. haha!
therefore, sometimes i would just reply to them in whatever language they spoke to me, especially when boarding taxi, sometimes i would just pretend i don't speak in mandarin.
" belok kiri, terus dan belok kiri lagi"

摩托~motorbike

2009-04-27T04:59:00.000-07:00

今天，有位朋友突然问我要不要sign up hotlink youth club,我想sign up很久了，可惜一直没有人陪我去，真想不到她会那么突然地问我，真是幸运!:)
如何去呢？是骑摩托车去，我非常兴奋的说我想去，朋友还犹豫了一下，她说骑摩托车还蛮危险，担心安全，我说我不担心，我不怕，我对他很有信心，其实我是很兴奋，因为从来没试过在大城市骑摩托呢？我好像给了我朋友不少压力，她有点怕，真的不好意思。

那位热心美女帮我借了helmet，然后就浩浩荡荡的出发了，她还一直问我会怕吗？哈哈！不怕不怕，我在欣赏沿路的风景。。。。我才发现原来城市的公路特别为摩托车设计了一些通道，朋友从一个lubang 兜到另一个lubang , 一路上我们都小心地安全地驾驶，只是身旁不断闪过骑得很快的摩托，替他们捏一把汗！

生命真是很奇妙的，前几天，我以为我应该没办法申请这个配套了，可以申请的地方有限，传说中的ampang point，我也不知道在哪个角落，截止日期也要到了，想放弃了，老天爷竟然安排了一个朋友在身边，她为什么会那么突然问我呢？就是因为我贪吃而去吃茶点然后又遇到她，她也随口问问而已。我想我真是太幸运了！谢谢你！

生命真是很奇妙，我以后真的不要轻言放弃，只要相信，就会有奇迹！！

漂流

2009-04-24T23:07:00.000-07:00

最近读了一本书， message in a bottle。把信写好了，然后放在瓶子里，抛进大海，任由它漂流到世界各地。。。很久以前就有看到这样的报导，说两个不认识的人因为瓶中信而相识成为朋友，他们的缘分竟然是由一个瓶子牵引的，哈哈!
到目前为止，我都没有拾过任何的瓶子，但然也没抛过任何瓶子，（好像不环保，哈哈）这个故事的开始就是因为女主角被瓶中信感动了，然后千里迢迢找到了因为妻子的离去而感伤的写下瓶中信的男主角，很自然的两个人就坠入爱河了。。。
到最后，男主角却因为意外丧生了，两个人也没有好结局，也应该预测得到了，不完美的结局总是叫人印象比较深刻的。。。
这个故事特别的是瓶中信，写的人不能自由的流浪，瓶子带着写的人的思念，写的人的故事随海浪漂泊。。。。
由于这个方法不环保，现代人也不写信了，我们写blog, 把我们的心情，高兴的，伤心的，无聊的，都在这虚拟的网海漂流，漂流。。。。。

let it be

2009-04-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

for the sadness,
let it go,
let the tears flow,
feel it completely but eventually be able to say,
" all right, that was my moment with sadness.
i'm not afraid of sadness
but now i'm going to put that aside and know that
there are other emotions in the world,
and i'm going to experience them as well.

（modified from tuesday with morrie)

每个人都需要空间和时间来面对自己的情绪，但不要沉浸在那情绪太久，偶尔要记得外面的阳光灿烂，
外面的凉风习习，外面的彩虹多美，外面的朋友多好。。。

寻找快乐

2009-04-23T05:19:00.000-07:00

贪心的我
往往会想得很多
也因为这样
常常把自己陷入困局
烦恼都是自找的
快乐也是自找的
既然如此
为什么我会那么笨
不会去寻找快乐呢
不想所失去的
要想我还拥有的

leaves~leaf~leaves

2009-04-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

有一收歌
在记忆中被深深的埋藏起来了
却很突然的又冒出来
今天听了叶子这首歌
一首我当时非常喜爱的歌
阿桑的遭遇
令人无比唏嘘
今晚又听了这首歌
这一首感伤的歌
我记得我的电脑有存到这首歌
奈何的是
我找也找不到

葉子是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀是落在天上的葉子

在凌晨2点46 分
这一刻我非常想念着叶子

我喜欢

2009-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

我喜欢斐济（Fiji island)是因为我看了张小娴的小说
听说他的粉丝还特地去了那个地方就是为了寻找小说中的面包树
我呢, 我上过网找过那岛的样子，当然是非常漂亮啦
我还喜欢maldives 可是听说一百年以后它将消失在地图了
所以有钱要趁早去一去
我也很喜欢逍遥自在
可以让我有如此感觉的是看到大海
一定要一望无际的大海
看到高山
越高得越好
看到蓝天
要很蓝很蓝的，最好是在一大片空地上，没有任何多余的高楼大厦
在沙漠中央，一个人影和人类文明的后遗物都没有的那种大沙漠
最好就像三毛的故事那样，那美丽又神秘的sahara desert
想象一下
在这些大自然当中，自己会很渺小很渺小。。。。。
好羡慕人家会潜水
在深海里面，看鱼，珊瑚和海水，还可以幻想一下去寻找所罗门的宝藏
我最喜欢幻想了
上网看看漂亮的风景，
然后就上床发美梦去了

guidelines for happiness

2009-04-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

1. free your heart from hate
2. feee your heart from worries
3. live simply
4. give more
5. expect less

que sera sera

2009-04-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

don't think , don't think
what will be will be
haiz, but how can one do not think about her very own project?
we did pay our effort.
plus, it's my responsibility to think of it.
i thought i would be very happy when i go out to have nice food.
i thought i would have BBQ away all my worries.
let it be.
Que sera sera
what will be will be

是转机不是挫折

2009-04-14T06:19:00.000-07:00

不是挫折
安慰自己说
没什么大不了的
很豪迈的说
是转机
转阿转阿转阿
再转再转再转
只要不转回原点
应该都可以过关的吧？